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Granddad gone on

Posted by onyx 
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Granddad gone on
July 15, 2011 08:22AM
I am in the big smoke again. This time, Granddad has given up the fight and moved on, total score 92 and a half! It has been an amazing time, and the family is all happy that he has moved on; heaven needed him more.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Granddad gone on
July 15, 2011 02:59PM
Onyx, sorry for your lost. Even when we know that they are in a better place it is still hard.
Group Hug

News flash:
God is not angry with you. He loves you.
If you don't believe that,
or think it's too good to be true,
or that I'm making it up - ask Him! smiling smiley
Re: Granddad gone on
July 15, 2011 08:21PM
Thanks Toni!

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Granddad gone on
July 15, 2011 09:51PM
Hugs to you and yours, thanks for letting your virtual family know
Re: Granddad gone on
July 16, 2011 04:00AM
Thanks J!

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Granddad gone on
July 16, 2011 04:01AM
Just finished the order of service for the funeral, and printed it out. Kind of surreal...saying goodbye to someone who has been some part of my life forever!

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Granddad gone on
July 16, 2011 12:38PM
Yes it is that. I lost my grandma when she was 96 so five years ago. I had never know life with out her.
Part of you think they will always be here. You and your are in my thoughts.

News flash:
God is not angry with you. He loves you.
If you don't believe that,
or think it's too good to be true,
or that I'm making it up - ask Him! smiling smiley
Re: Granddad gone on
July 17, 2011 12:36AM
Hey Man

May his life that he has shared with you be filled with a rich wisdom, love and joy to remember him by and now ... peace.

May also my dad above just let you know his heart on this as you travel this path for a 'season'.

LH
Re: Granddad gone on
July 17, 2011 03:02PM
Onyx, didn't you spend some good time with your granddad in the last couple of years? seems like I remember you taking the time to go see him and be with him. What kind of man was he? What sort of things did he do during his life, what was important to him? Tell us some stories about him.

I'm sad for your loss of him. And glad for him, getting to be in the arms of his loving Papa.
Re: Granddad gone on
July 17, 2011 09:27PM
Wow! 92 is a lot of years to live on this planet. That's kind of mind boggling.

Blessings to you all as you remember him, and as you think fondly of his place in time right now..... I believe he is with you all, and soon you will be in that dimension as well. Hugs to you all.
Re: Granddad gone on
July 18, 2011 01:54AM
Thinking of you and your family Onyx at this sad time.

I had a Grand Ma I spent a lot of time with but never met my Grandfathers. Wondered what we would have learnt from each other had that relationship been there.

You in our prayers man
Re: Granddad gone on
July 19, 2011 10:00PM
Quote
C Shell
Onyx, didn't you spend some good time with your granddad in the last couple of years? seems like I remember you taking the time to go see him and be with him. What kind of man was he? What sort of things did he do during his life, what was important to him? Tell us some stories about him.

I'm sad for your loss of him. And glad for him, getting to be in the arms of his loving Papa.
Yeh, Shell, I made an effort to spend time with him over the past couple of years, and watched his health gradually decline as I got to know him. He was of the generation that thought/taught that children should be seen and not heard. That made it impossible to get to know him when I was younger; and when I became an adult I moved away with my new family. Coming back to make the effort to know him is something that I regret I didn't do sooner. But hey, in Papa's timing I guess?
He was a geek like me! Into shortwave radio and other gadgets of his time. He loved to renovate his houses, always working on them. But for most of his life he was an enigma to his family, as a closed book; he was unwilling/ unable to share of himself for some reason (and I suspect that comes from the treatment his own father gave him), and didn't even give my father a hug until dad turned 40, let alone telling his kids he loved them! Yet in the past couple of years he has shown interest in my kids that nobody suspected he would...maybe as his own mortality caught up with him?
There are not many stories to tell, as his family knew so little of this man. But we know that when he was 5 his father, a policeman, was shot and injured by a madman at a primary school. And we know that when he was 70 he was driving school buses, until one day he had a blackout and crashed the bus (nobody injured!).

Thanks for the wishes everyone! I know that Granddad and Grandma are together again, safe in Papa's arms.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Granddad gone on
July 20, 2011 12:26AM
It's been a full-on week, dropping everything, driving 500km each way, staying with my folks at short notice right in the middle of their store's annual sale and industry competition, spending time with grandpa, and consequently time with Onyx's folks.

What stand's out to me, and made the entire time worthwhile was one single incident.

We had driven directly to the hospital upon arrival at our destination (after midnight) and sat through the night with Grandpa. Onyx's father arrived in the morning and we went home for a break. Family visitors ebbed and flowed throughout that day, until we returned after lunch.

Due to Grandpa's state (he was non-responsive, thrashing about, in pain and experiencing induced hallucinations) he had had to have a 'watcher' with him 24/7, so we planned to go when they were due to arrive at 7pm.

As his assigned nurse had been able to make him more comfortable during the day by reluctantly increasing his med's, and possibly due to changing his position, the hospital had decided that he didn't need a 'watcher' that night.

Onyx spoke with his father and we were to go home anyway, with loose plans to come back between 2am and 4am to sit with Grandpa again if Onyx felt up to it.

So as we left, Onyx leaned over his grandfather, so he could speak into his good ear, putting his hand on his grandfather's shoulder, and told him that it was time to go, that he could be with his late wife. [Onyx had previously got his father to do this too before he left after lunch.] Grandpa immediately opened his eyes, and shook his head 'no' several times. Onyx said 'yes, it IS okay," and that if Grandpa was still here, he'd see him again in the morning. His eyes closed and I thought with each of the five very different breaths after that, any could have been his last. He returned to his 'regular' state and we left.

Grandpa passed away between midnight and 12.30am.

If we had driven 'a thousand miles' just for that one 'conversation', that one last good-bye, it was worth it.
Re: Granddad gone on
July 20, 2011 11:14AM
Oh, Wifey, that WAS worth the whole trip! When my dad was dying, the Hospice people said it would be good if each of us individually gave him permission to die. That was really hard for my brother to do, but he worked through it, I don't know who it helped more, my dad or my brother. Dad was pretty much unresponsive then but we believe he heard us all. The Hospice people said that many times, dying people fight to hang on instead of letting go, because they are concerned about the ones they'll leave behind, so it's important to reassure them that we will miss them, but we'll be all right.

It sounds like Onyx did exactly the right thing for Grandpa.

Onyx, my dad was like your grandpa -- enigma, closed book. I think children were treated differently when their generation was growing up, not worse just different, in that affection and closeness was not frequent and was more considered a sign of weakness than strength.
Re: Granddad gone on
July 22, 2011 03:59AM
1 GIVE me the wings of faith to rise
Within the veil, and see
The saints above, how great their joys,
How bright their glories be.

2 Once they were mourners here below,
And poured out cries and tears:
They wrestled hard, as we do now,
With sins, and doubts, and fears.

3 I ask them whence their victory came:
They, with united breath,
Ascribe their conquest to the Lamb,
Their triumph to his death.

4 They marked the footsteps that he trod,
His zeal inspired their breast;
And following their incarnate God,
Possess the promised rest.

5 Our glorious Leader claims our praise
For His own pattern given;
While the long cloud of witnesses
Show the same path to heaven.
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