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Button pushing...

Posted by RainFields 
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Button pushing...
October 29, 2009 07:20PM
I truly dislike having my buttons pushed, but even more than that, I hate my reaction to button pushing! I believe I've seen some improvement in this area of my life, and just when I think I can handle button pushers, NeenerNeener, I find out I still let them bother me way too much, even if it isn't as much as it used to be. Someday, Father will fix this, I know he will....someday, I won't have any buttons to push.Happy!

Sue Living Loved

"God's grace exists to point people to a love like no other love they have ever known."
Mike Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder
Re: Button pushing...
October 29, 2009 08:26PM
Yeah...thatKnow what u mean!

I have found that for me the analogy is one of sandpaper and rough edges...the more rough edges I have, the more sandpaper is attracted to me, as though the master carpenter was trying to tell me something? Hysterical

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Button pushing...
October 30, 2009 01:24AM
Exactly...I need to quit thinking I can take on the world, then the world won't come knocking at my door. I think in the instance I'm speaking of, I was not prepared. My step children's grandfather passed away early last week, this would be my husband's ex's father. I'm very friendly with the family, not so much hubby, but the kids, their mom, their grandmother, and their aunt asked if we could be there for the funeral, I said yes, then pushed hubby out the driveway. My son's pastor, his wife and another lady from their church was there too, wasn't expecting that because it would've been an hour drive for them. I always make it a point to speak, be kind, be polite to his church people...mainly because I don't want them to start telling him how bad they are treated by his family. They never speak to me, even when I talk to them, ask a question, they smile and nod their heads...I'm not kidding, it's very strange. Anyone from their church, it doesn't matter who, does the same thing. So, I never let it stop me from being so dang nice that it almost kills me, then I know that attitude is bad. Husband walks away and daughter was not happy they were there at all, both hubby and daughter watched me as I asked them if they were ready for winter cold, three people just smiled and nodded their heads. This is a big button for me, for 5 years it's never changed. Usually we know when we will see them, at birthdays or births, now I know to look for them at funerals too. I can only assume they believe we are pagans, who knows, but they didn't speak to anyone there that I saw, they don't want to intermingle with the commoners?I don't know

Sue Living Loved

"God's grace exists to point people to a love like no other love they have ever known."
Mike Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder
Re: Button pushing...
October 30, 2009 03:48AM
I've learned to live in environments that push my buttons . but some push them too hard still .

Hope you all are well .



Re: Button pushing...
October 30, 2009 10:44AM
Sue, it sounds like they've had a teaching on "not speaking to outsiders" or something. Can't believe they just nodded, sounds like robotic behavior to me. Their world is so narrow, I feel sorry for them.

Reminds me of the dwarfs in The Last Battle by C.S.Lewis. Have you read it? This little group of dwarfs has been disillusioned by both sides and decide "The dwarfs are for the dwarfs!" so they sit in a little circle and refuse to acknowledge the truth around them, which is that they are in Aslan's country and it's beautiful and big. They insist they're inside a smelly stable.
Re: Button pushing...
October 30, 2009 02:55PM
Quote
C Shell
Sue, it sounds like they've had a teaching on "not speaking to outsiders" or something. Can't believe they just nodded, sounds like robotic behavior to me. Their world is so narrow, I feel sorry for them.

Reminds me of the dwarfs in The Last Battle by C.S.Lewis. Have you read it? This little group of dwarfs has been disillusioned by both sides and decide "The dwarfs are for the dwarfs!" so they sit in a little circle and refuse to acknowledge the truth around them, which is that they are in Aslan's country and it's beautiful and big. They insist they're inside a smelly stable.

In a certain way, you are right, but they and my son go "on visitation" at least twice a week. Which means they knock on doors of people they do not know, are not church members, for the soul purpose of winning them to the Lord. So, our son's family seems to be a threat to them possibly, they also do believe they have to keep themselves from the world or worldly things, maybe we are worldly things?Crazy It puzzles me for sure, and we have never said anything to our son or daughter in law about how they treat us, I'm sure they would not believe us, and only see it as us trying to undermine their church.

It's been a very long time since I've read C.S. Lewis, of course, we do have "The Chronicles of Narnia" collection on DVD. I was in junior high school, and checked them out through the library. I should reread them again, I could probably see them with very different eyes.Hmmmm

Sue Living Loved

"God's grace exists to point people to a love like no other love they have ever known."
Mike Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder
Re: Button pushing...
November 06, 2009 04:48AM
This might be button pushing with a difference or maybe it's not button pushing but just a mother's heart responding to any kind of hurt or slight to her child....
maybe dads' hearts respond the same way....

Did my mother-help bit at my daughter's school this morning.... all the class lined up to go to another classroom and whose daughter was left without a partner?? Not the first time I've seen that happen. She had gone up and asked another girl to walk with her.... the other girl clearly didn't want to walk with my treasure and grabbed someone else' hand so 'mine' was the one left out....

the teacher didn't notice..... grrrrr and honestly I REALLY like this teacher.

Then at end of school one of the other mums said to me about the party invitations that are going round at the moment (lots of birthdays happening - spring time ... new life .... birth .... not just among the lambs!!). Guess whose little girl isn't really on the 'party circuit' either??

So what's wrong with your daughter do I hear you ask? Well I am her mother, but honestly she's not weird, strange and doesn't smell. Quite a quiet, unsophisticated child - not one of the popular, in-crowd or strong personality types.

Help it's hard being a mum and seeing things like that happen... it does PRESS my buttons .... brings back all those 'left out' feelings I experienced as a child I guess....

I don't pray to be a PERFECT mum, or the BEST mum, just the mum my daughter needs.....and I keep reminding myself .... I love her to bits.... think how much more she is loved by Papa.......
Re: Button pushing...
November 06, 2009 10:29AM
That sucks, Gillse. sad smiley
Re: Button pushing...
November 06, 2009 02:20PM
Gillse, I have been where you are. And yes, Wifey, it DOES suck. But I'll tell you how it's come out on the other end...

My dear, beautiful, fabulous son was also not in the popular clique, or chosen for all the parties or partners. As an only child, he related better to adults than to other kids, always had an incredible vocabulary, and was not athletic. Early on, we noticed he had a propensity for the dramatic -- he would reenact the Ginsu Knives commercial verbatim, and knew all his books by heart and acted them out. We encouraged that, took him to plays and movies, encouraged him to try out for all the school plays, which he got parts in every one.

Still, his social skills were not THE SAME as most of the kids in his elementary school, so he underwent quite a bit of being excluded and even mocked. It KILLED me. My fierce mother instincts wanted to slash and burn those kids who ostracized him.

He remembers an incident (I've forgotten it) when he came home upset after being made fun of again and we sat down to talk about it. After he told me all the things they'd said to him, he says I told him that "we can't do anything about some of the things they don't like about you, because that's YOU, and just because this group doesn't happen to like it, doesn't mean other people won't and don't." But one thing they'd mocked him about was his clothes. I wasn't dressing him weird or anything, but he wasn't wearing "their style"...and I reportedly said, "THAT's something we can do something about. That's nothing!" so we got him some acceptable clothes. He felt better.

All along I kept telling him he would find his place someday, and in high school that began....he got in with the "drama group", who were a bit more edgy and bright and willing to tolerate differences...and then in college, where he majored in theater performance, he really found his place and acceptance and friends, many of whom are still his best friends. He's 32 now and is a wonderful man with many friends. (He's not acting though, in case you wondered.)

So what's the moral to my long story. From my experience, the best thing you can do is what you're already doing:
Quote
Gillse the great mom
love her to bits
Help her find her "thing", what she loves -- be it reading, collecting rocks, music....and do it with her or encourage her. If there are small, unimportant concessions to peer acceptance, like clothes, go ahead and make them, it's no big deal to anyone but them. If she can find one or two friends, that will help a lot. Pray for and forgive those who reject her...that's something I didn't do and wish I had done.

Shelley

It's not about what we are against, but Who we are for... and Who is for us.
Re: Button pushing...
November 06, 2009 02:50PM
Sue, re: The Chronicles of Narnia,
Quote
Sue
I should reread them again, I could probably see them with very different eyes
I can't recommend anything more highly.

These books have done more to shape my perception of God, my "personal theology", than any others (except of course the Bible). It's on the same lines as The Shack, in the way a fiction story can make you see God from a new angle.

I have this FABULOUS set of CDs where each of the 7 books is read by a great British actor (Patrick Stewart, Derick Jacoby, Kenneth Branagh, Jeremy Northam, etc.) I just finished listening to them all again. It never fails to lift my spirits and bring me closer to Papa.

It's not about what we are against, but Who we are for... and Who is for us.
Re: Button pushing...
November 06, 2009 10:17PM
Quote
Shelley the Encourager
So what's the moral to my long story. From my experience, the best thing you can do is what you're already doing:

Quote
Gillse the great mom
love her to bits

Help her find her "thing", what she loves -- be it reading, collecting rocks, music....and do it with her or encourage her. If there are small, unimportant concessions to peer acceptance, like clothes, go ahead and make them, it's no big deal to anyone but them. If she can find one or two friends, that will help a lot. Pray for and forgive those who reject her...that's something I didn't do and wish I had done.

Shelley
Gill, Shelley is so right. I was one of those kids, just like your child, at school too. Quiet. Intelligent. Too poor to follow the trends. Unfortunately that means DIFFERENT, and that isn't acceptable to the mob. But ya know what? I'm glad of that fact now, because it enabled me to NOT follow the mob, with all their stupid tendencies. I got to know others who were "DIFFERENT", and developed strong friendships. It built in me independent thinking (something the school system doesn't encourage). And so, despite the fact that in a conversation, I am always the last to talk, if at all, I have a confidence that I needn't parrot what others are saying to be accepted, and that the acceptance I crave only comes from Papa.

What your child is going through is teaching her much about the mean and selfish side of human nature, so maybe you could help her to see that? And to find that other child who is also being treated this way( there is usually one more), that they may develop friendship on the common ground?

Just my 10c...keep the change grinning smiley

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Button pushing...
November 07, 2009 08:08PM
Hi Shelley and Onyx
Thank you both sooooooooooooo much for what you wrote - has helped me immensely to feel better about the whole situation.

Shelley - the way you describe your son is just so like my daughter. An only child (yes lots of mother guilt over that one!) who is probably really used to adult company though I try to ensure lots of 'child socialization' experiences. She has a wonderful imagination. At the last parent-teacher interview her teacher raved about C's imagination and the stories she could tell (best in class at something apparently!!)
And yes dramatic play is her absolute favourite. She makes up plays and stories and acts them out - whenever we play together I'm always having to act out a number of characters. She loves dancing and drama...

The clothes thing.... she is not 'fashion' or 'label' conscious and has her own 'unique' way of dressing: ie mixing up styles; colours; patterns etc. I have always left it to her thinking she should have the freedom to express herself in this way (within reason of course). One example: we went to stay with friends one weekend last year. They live about 3 hours away. C wore a pair of knickers (clean ones!) on her head as a 'hat'. It didn't bother her father or I but when we stopped for coffee and a walk in a town, I wouldn't let her wear them down the street, cos I didn't want her being mocked by others. And no she doesn't wear things like that to school!!
However lately I have been wondering if her 'clothing style' sets her apart at school from the others. She hasn't mentioned anything, and seems blissfully unaware but I look at the girls in her class and most are very 'trendy' in the way they dress and much more 'style conscious' shall I say. It kind of grieves me as a not particularly fashion or clothes conscious person myself, and at 6 years old I am reluctant to start prescribing how or what she should wear. (Thought that would all come later for her with peer pressure) but yes Shelley am thinking may be the other children see her as dressing 'weird' even though I love the uniqueness(!) and that I should attend to so she 'fits in' better.

Yes oh yes the 'slash and burn' mentality.... I have so wanted to (and yes to my husband have....) bad-mouthed and hate the children and mothers who don't include my daughter......

Onyx again really appreciate your words. To me growing up and being accepting of difference is a really important value I want C to have. Sometimes her difference and not being part of the in-crowd scares me in terms of the future impact it may have on her. Yet you phrase it in terms of having developed resiliency (as I read it) and that it has given you the strength of character that you don't have to try and fit in with others but can be who you are.

On a more personal note - (can it get more personal than talking about my daughter?) - I really liked what you wrote about being in a group and often not saying anything, but feeling ok about that. I am not a group person; don't really like speaking up (but often being of a contrary nature - if something comes up that I don't agree with - will speak up!) yet have struggled to feel that I am ok. An aspect of myself that more recently albeit slowly I am accepting rather 'fighting with myself' to be different.

Gosh what a diatribe (hope that word's in context)....

But thank you again, I love you both - Gill
Re: Button pushing...
May 08, 2010 06:11AM
I’m tired and should go to bed, but the tired I feel is not a sleepy tired, it’s a weary tired.
Gill, one of the hardest things a woman discovers is that she can’t solve all the problems in her children’s lives, even when they are young and especially when they are grown. A mother sees her children in a way that possibly no one else sees them, not even their father can see what a mom sees. I believe it is very close to how Father, God or Papa sees us. So, as much as Father loves me, my children, my husband...he also loves the person or persons, the button pushers, that can seem to be tormenting, harming or abusing, our loved ones. It actually takes some time to let that thought soak in, so to speak. But...with time, and a few moments of thought, it will enter your heart.
I believe every mom has at least one child that at some point during that child’s life, just doesn’t seem to fit in. Maybe, just maybe, it’s a way of preparing them or us. Because in a way, do we fit in? I only know that I do not, all around me, there are none that see or feel what I do. I do not shout over a megaphone, “I DO NOT ATTEND AN ORGANIZED GROUP OF PEOPLE, THAT MEET AT SCHEDULED TIMES THAT PRETENDS THEY ARE CLOSER TO GOD BECAUSE OF THEIR ATTENDANCE!” And the times I have told others why I really don’t go to a church building, you get very crazy looks and complete and utterly, “I don’t understand...you think I’m bad because I go to church?”, types of responses.
Shelley is right, I too raised three children, at different times they all three have been left out by their peers. I believe there are children out there that seem to endure this type of treatment more that others. Maybe like Shelly’s son and I too had a son, with a very similar story to Shelley’s. His gift was music, and now with his masters degree, he is a composer and a band director. He will be going to London this summer for a conducting workshop, in other words, he found his true peers and respect from those peers.
When your children are young it is so hard to watch as they go thru some terrible episodes of their lives, I know. I wish I could tell you it changes when they grow up, become adults, married with children of their own...but it doesn’t. For some silly reason, as soon as you hear they are having trouble with another person, for just a moment, just a small glimpse, you can still see that small child, and you want nothing more than to protect them ever so fiercely.

Follow this web address and you will see the son that never seemed to fit in:
[www.michaelsethcudd.com]

Sue Living Loved

"God's grace exists to point people to a love like no other love they have ever known."
Mike Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2010 06:16AM by RainFields.
Re: Button pushing...
May 08, 2010 01:24PM
Sue, how proud and delighted you must be with Michael! I couldn't make the music play at his website, it's probably the fault of my computer, but I love the little strands that you have to catch to find out more about him; the design itself seems to say "Creativity and Originality Here!" I am in awe of composers who hear the music the rest of us can't hear, and translate it for our ears!

It doesn't seem like "not fitting in" at parts of his life has handicapped him in any way!
Re: Button pushing...
May 09, 2010 05:24AM
I don't think any of us "fit" all the time with others, but we, each and every one, always "fit" with Father. Applause

(Seth was going to do some changes on his web site, I don't think he's had time, the end of a school year is a little hectic for teachers. I'm sorry you couldn't hear the music, it's classical. I am proud of Seth. I also raised two more, they are actually steps, but I truly see them as mine. About a month ago they lost their mother, it's been very hard for them both and with this being 'Mother's Day' weekend, even more so. I just got off the phone with Torri, she needed to cry and talk about her mom and I join in with her, and just let her talk and cry all she wants.)

Sue Living Loved

"God's grace exists to point people to a love like no other love they have ever known."
Mike Yaconelli, Dangerous Wonder
Re: Button pushing...
May 09, 2010 04:02PM
How lovely, Sue. You showed yourself to be a true child of your Father today. A child and a mom, all in one package.
Re: Button pushing...
May 11, 2010 03:49AM
I am one of those 'only children' who can identify with many comments made by all (as written above). But it doesn't stop there. Hubby and I have three sons, we home school.... ergo... they are 'different' too. Different that they don't have the same mindless conversations with their peers, or behave the way their peers do. Different in that they can relate to people of all ages, and their friends aren't necessarily their age. And wait... there's more.... hubby and I don't fit either. I mean, we are like, weird! We home school, hubby works from home, I have an evening job outside the home, I don't attend the I.C., hubby does but with eyes WIDE open, we don't conform to conventional thinking, and... dare to challenge the status quo!!!

I never really fit in as a child (partly due to shyness), and am definitely on the outer circle when with a group of 'friends'. I am intolerant of those who swim with the tide, who never question, or accept the norm as being normal. (sigh). Of course, this has isolated me even further, but... what is interesting is that slowly I (we) are finding that our opinions are being sought out, or we are welcomed into committees because we aren't afraid to ask the hard questions or raise the standard. What, in the past (and until quite recently) has been viewed by us as ' okay, well, we're different, and (sigh) lonely, is that these qualities are now positive attributes. (yeah, go figure). Sure, we're still pretty lonely, inasmuch as we don't have hoards of people calling or knocking at our door for our pearls of wisdom, (thank God for that - I have enough of people at work without coming home to find more...), but maybe, just maybe, the tide is beginning to turn.

Kemit the Frog said..., ' it's not easy being green', and he wasn't referring to a particular political party!!

I guess what I'm trying to say is...... I understand your angst..... I have yelled at someone for lies he spread about my children (and it felt GREAT), and I completely understand where your daughter is. I love what C Shell told her son (I told my boys something very similar - hey - great minds think alike). Most importantly, remember that God loves your daughter even more fiercely than you do. If you teach her that she is important in HIS eyes, and that she belongs to the Creator of the Universe..... then WOW, her self esteem can only benefit.

That's my My 2 Cents worth

post script..... finally..... we have like-minded friends (eeeek - is that conformity???) - thanks Wifey and Onyx for accepting us the way we are - for embracing our uniqueness yet not losing your own Squish
Re: Button pushing...
May 11, 2010 04:00AM
But wait... there's more..... *giggle*

speaking of button pushing..... at times I am really tired of swimming against the tide... ya know.... home schooling and now being a Free Believer. Tired of the stupid questions. Tired of defending my beliefs.

I have the answers ready for all those who think I am crazy for keeping my children away from State education, but had fallen into the trap of not knowing how to answer the question leveled at me ...' why don't you go to church anymore?' ... so ... being that I am married to a man who speaks his mind... (I tend to fume and mutter)... I now turn the tables. I decided last night that I had the ' perfect' answer...... instead of frantically trying to recall all the wonderful answers posted on various forums.... I'm simply going to ask in return...... "why do YOU attend church?" - how's that for pushing buttons??? (and if past experience counts for anything... they won't have an answer - well, for awhile anyway).

Again, just my My 2 Cents worth
Re: Button pushing...
May 12, 2010 05:16PM
Quote
Gutsy Ginny
I'm simply going to ask in return...... "why do YOU attend church?"
Good one! Not only would this get you off the "hot seat", but it would give you a good springboard for discussion, as you see what they like about the IC and can have a decent discussion without anyone having to be defensive/offensive.

You sound like a really cool family.

And how lucky you are to get to hang out with Onyx & Wifey in 3D!
Re: Button pushing...
May 13, 2010 01:21AM
I know Happy Dance
Re: Button pushing...
May 13, 2010 01:27AM
Extrapolating that further Ginny, then one could retort "why do you send your children to school?" to the ever-present question of "why do you homeschool?".


Had a discussion last night with dd who wanted to know how to respond to her buttons being pushed by peers along the lines of "you [do ...], you are [...], your mum is [...]" For now, what we came up with was "...and your point is?".


FWIW another thing that a great counsellor once suggested for deflecting invasive questions or those that I didn't want to answer is "Why do you ask?". This hopefully causes the person to reflect on the underlying reason and/or qualify themselves so that you can decide whether you want to answer.

Might I suggest that a lot of the time people pose questions so that they can more easily pigeonhole you to being 'that' kind of person or likely to hold "that " kind of view. Now, who wants to be put in "that" box???!
Re: Button pushing...
May 13, 2010 12:12PM
Quote
Wise Wifey
Might I suggest that a lot of the time people pose questions so that they can more easily pigeonhole you to being 'that' kind of person or likely to hold "that " kind of view.
I think that's exactly it. Humans like to categorize things, label them, because I think WE think it gives us control over them. To fit everything into OUR worldview. When we could be asking questions to learn and expand our worldview.
Re: Button pushing...
May 13, 2010 04:37PM
Wow!! Great points all around!! I really like this discussion.

When I was a kid, my weight went up and down (still does). So round about 12, I was a "fat kid" and rejected by most. Then we moved to a new city and I decided that I would lose the weight over the summer. Looking at photos, I got TOO skinny. But that Fall, at the new school, I was the "Pretty new girl". Whoa! What a shocker. But what stuck with me was that I was the same person. So, I could see the "odd-kids-out" and really identify with them. I soon learned to tell the difference between people who liked ME and those who liked/hated me for my looks.

As for dressing weird -- One time in 8th grade, I wore colored nylon stockings in my hair. Yeah, it looked weird. I got a lot of stares. Then another time I french braided my hair BACKWARDS -- from the base of my skull to the front with the braid hanging in my face. I didn't do this for attention really -- I just wanted to make a point: "I'm still the same person!!" Did they get it? Didn't seem like it, but that didn't stop me.

Highschool was a bit milder. I was crazy busy with Choir, Drama, Youth Groups, etc. Not exactly the popular activities, and even in those I was never really "one of the group". But I always had a sense that this was just a season of life. This would not last forever, and there were enough fun/cool/super things about my life that I liked and enjoyed, that I made it through. Come to think of it, this is pretty much how I look at life NOW. There's a lot of "downers", but I know that everything changes, and if not, I'm okay with that too.

I don't have kids, but.. my My 2 Cents worth... Letting your kids know you love them to bits is the ticket. Add to that the fact that they are a treasure to Papa, and they've got it made. thumbs up

PS. I also remember reading books in grade school about kids who didn't fit it - it really gave me some "I'm not the only one" perspective.
Re: Button pushing...
May 14, 2010 10:58PM
*giggle* T7, you are truly crazy....no wonder you fit in so well here! Crazy I guess when it comes down to it, those who are conformists will stay in the religion, and conform. Those who think for themselves...FREEDOM!

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: Button pushing...
May 15, 2010 12:53AM
Quote
Tremendous Theresa
There's a lot of "downers", but I know that everything changes, and if not, I'm okay with that too.
What a great way to live life.

Reminds me of what Job said. "Though he slay me, yet I will trust him."
Re: Button pushing...
May 15, 2010 01:55PM
As a kid I was always impressed with Shadrach, Mishak, and Abednego (or as my dad would say at bedtime, "Dad-->sack, Me-->sack, and to bed we go"!! :-). ... I loved when they said, "He WILL save us [from the fiery furnace]. But even if he does not...." -- what TRUST they had in WHO God was and that whatever happened, they were at peace with him and his decisions.
I confess, on my bad days, I don't like the "if not". But I'm learning that his LOVE is never in question, just my understanding and comfortableness. :-)

Sometimes, no matter what one does, things won't change, people won't like us. I think its important for everyone to learn this, or they'll never step off the treadmill of people-pleasing.

Love you guys!! Thanks for your acceptance of my "weirdness" :-)
Re: Button pushing...
May 15, 2010 03:31PM
T, this was always one of my favorite Bible stories too!!!!! And my favorite part was just the part you quoted, "But if He does not..." It has always captivated my heart, the heroic faith of those 3 guys and I always wanted to be like them. And I also LOVED that they were walking around in the fire and THERE WAS SOMEBODY ELSE WITH THEM!

Quote
T7
his LOVE is never in question, just my understanding and comfortableness.

You don't know how you "made my week" with these words of truth and your story!
Re: Button pushing...
May 16, 2010 01:50AM
i
Quote
Wifey
Extrapolating that further Ginny, then one could retort "why do you send your children to school?" to the ever-present question of "why do you homeschool?"

I did once... that's why my epiphany was so epic. I had tried that once (to the husband of a schoolteacher)..... he was pole-axed - he stuttered, stammered, and had no answer for me. It was priceless Hysterical (sorry - had to include that icon - it's my favourite). Anwyay - that's why I'm convinced that if nothing else, it will give them pause to ask why we attend the IC or homeschool or whatever...... anything to stop me from feeling the pressure to defend myself, and allows me to take a deep breath before I retort.
Re: Button pushing...
August 06, 2010 05:18PM
C-Shell, I really appreciated what you shared about your son.

I like the idea of answering questions with questions. I know that in our culture, that's considered rude, but I see where Jesus did it a lot and I can't help thinking it's worthwhile. I'd have to be careful not to be snarky though.

As to button pushing, I'm starting to catch on to the fact that when I get the feeling my buttons are being pushed, that's my cue to focus in on how my boundaries are being violated and decide how to respond before I blow up. The anger/frustration/annoyance actually serves a good purpose if I respond to it while I'm still rational rather than waiting until I boil over.

On the parenting forum I'm part of someone recently asked the group, "Where do you go to church and why?" So many of them said "for worship" which prompted me to ask "what is worship?" Would you believe only one person responded to that question?! They're pretty sure they need to worship but they haven't a clue what worship is, so they attach themselves to whatever their church organization labels as worship. *sigh*

There's a group of "out of the box" believers here in MN. We get together with them from time to time but it's a two hour drive each way, so it doesn't happen as often as we'd like. Several of them used to be part of a very charismatic church and they're now going though some sort of "worship" withdrawals. They're trying to recreate the feeling they achieved in that environment. Have you seen the video [url=

]Sunday's Coming[/url]? It just isn't possible to create that kind of hype at home. The trouble is that it's really awkward following along while they try to get that feeling. I guess it kind of pushes my buttons.
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