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What do you WANT?

Posted by Theresa7 
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What do you WANT?
April 16, 2011 11:50AM
Topic coming soon.....
Re: What do you WANT?
April 16, 2011 01:34PM
I just listened to TGJ podcast "The God Who Whispers". I Love and Hated the story about Leroy, of course. But when Brad brought up the idea that "We get what we want", I knew I would have to share about it.

What do you WANT? <-- This question was a core idea to "The Body" (TB ), and it set me into a tail spin.

The principle was that (kind of like Brad said), what you are doing is evidence of what you really want. Not only that, but we will GET what we WANT.

Brad said (23:10), "Every person on this planet is doing exactly what they want to do. They may have a thousand reasons for why that's not the case, but at the end of it, its 'no, you may be afraid of something else, so you feel stuck in this but you're still choosing that. And that's were i kind of feel like, I don't think God's gonna be am unjustified judge of every act, word, and deed, of every thought and intent of our heart. I'm going like you know I think we're on the hook for all of that stuff. That doesn't make me frightened, it doesn't make me like --'ooooo, judgement gospel'-- its more like you know what, I just think that's the empowered place of human beings and the incredible human will he has given us. God will not violate my choosing.
"Even to the point that if I say 'God I don't want anything to do with you and your kingdom forever', then its like, 'well, there's only one real option for you to go then at the end of eternity', and God isn't there like, 'No, I'm not gonna let that happen.' I think he doesn't want that, but He doesn't impose his will like we would if we were God."


This gives me flashbacks. I don't necessarily disagree with what Brad said, but TB took this premise and added it with another seemingly true premise, then the outcome was horrific.

The other seemingly true premise: Some people are "sons" of God and some are not. i.e. some people will have a relationship with God and others will not. (duh, right?)

So, TB added all this up like this:
Since God won't impose his will on us, we will GET what we want.
Since not all people are sons of God, then obviously some people don't want relationship with God.
So, what do YOU WANT?

Well, cr@p. I don't know (or at least I didn't think I knew, since I was questioning everything I ever thought about who I was, who God was, and the purpose of my life...). TB kept saying that I should take a look at my heart.

OMG. The Church tells us that the heart is desperately wicked, right? So, what did I think I would find? Oh cr@p.
I thought I would find that I really didn't want God after all. That the reason I ate and was unhappy was because I was faking a desire for God. I was just afraid of the consequences if I didn't serve God. I was afraid of hell, therefore my "devotion" was based on FEAR not what I really wanted!

Let's ADD to this DEEP fear of what I would find deep down in my wicked heart by reading the book, "A Divine Revelation of Hell." Uh, yeah, bad idea. (Of course, I did actually come through this fire, so... can I really say it was "bad"? ....)

I spent a few months in serious fear. Fear of God. Fear of Looking at my Heart. Fear of seeing what I really WANTED. Because, what if it wasn't God. Then I would get what I wanted.
Finally, a truth broke through: If God can forgive anything, then he can forgive a heart that doesn't want him.

Kind of round about logic, but it gave me hope that I might not be lost -- no matter what I found in my heart. God may be bigger than my heart. Doh!

(sigh) what a relief. God loved me FIRST. He wanted to be my friend. He wanted to save me and hold me and comfort me. HE wanted a relationship. (whew!)

I since have seen that I LOVE Him. I want to see him work in / for people. I LOVE his spirit. However, I am not saved because I love him, or because I want him. I'm saved because HE LOVES ME and HE WANTS ME!!
I just reciprocate -- but if someone is truly encountered with the love of God, how could they not?
Re: What do you WANT?
April 17, 2011 12:25AM
Don't think about a laughing donkey.

Don't. I said, DON'T!

did you get a picture of a laughing donkey in your mind? i did.

no matter what i was told to do. it's like something in me takes over and does it anyway.

how the heck do i know what i want if i have a mind that does stuff like that?

Papa understands that i have a mind like that. He totally gets it. Who knows, maybe he made it that way, I dunno.

But when we get into endless loops of self-recrimination because of stuff like that, when religious groups play on it to manipulate us by saying we're "doubleminded", it can make us second-guess every thought and that leads to craziness.

What do I want? it changes. one minute to the next. He gets that. He knows my heart. HE KNOWS MY HEART. better than I know my heart. He does not consider my heart wicked. I don't believe that he does. He understands it. He knows that I'm trying to love him, wanting to love him, wanting to believe how much he loves me. Just what you said, T, he wants the relationship with me, MORE than I want it. always did, always will. Thank you, Papa, that it's what you want that counts.
Re: What do you WANT?
April 20, 2011 12:11PM
Hi guys
Reading your posts made me think of Dietrich Bonhofer the German Pastor who spoke out against Hitler during the Second World War.

He was a very courageous man a godly man but in this poem below you get the real person working through a whole range of emotions as he contemplates his impending death at the hands of the Nazis.

They imprisoned him and God forgive them, hung him only a few weeks before the Allies arrived to set the prisoners free.

I love this poem for I can see myself in it doubting Gods love for me etc but the final line in the poem says it all for me, I am thine

Here it is, hope it speaks to you:

WHO AM I?

Who am I? They often tell me
I would step from my cell's confinement
calmly, cheerfully, firmly,
like a squire from his country-house.
Who am I? They also tell me
I would talk to my warders
freely and friendly and clearly,
as though it were mine to command.
Who am I? They also tell me
I would bear the days of misfortune
equably, smilingly, proudly,
like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of?
Or am I only what I myself know of myself,
restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage,
struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat,
yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds,
thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness,
trembling with anger at despotisms and petty humiliation,
tossing in expectation of great events,
powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance,
weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making,
faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other?
Am I one person today, and tomorrow another?
Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others,
and before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling?
Or is something within me still like a beaten army,
fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved?

Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine.
Whoever I am, thou knowest, O God, I am thine.
Re: What do you WANT?
April 20, 2011 05:19PM
Oooooo that is good, Eric. I have never read that before (and I grew up Lutheran!) It so perfectly addresses the questions we all ask ourselves, Who's the real me? See saw Am I a fake? How can I tell if I'm sincere or just trying to please? etc etc

all that really matters is that HE knows who I am

and that i belong to him

Applause
Re: What do you WANT?
April 20, 2011 10:08PM
Yeah it's a goodie alright C Shell

In spite of all his 'natural' abilities, and he had plenty of them, it still comes back to who has hold of us.

I'm so glad God got through to me and started me on this 'new' God journey with you guys and a whole host of others.

We are held in the hands of a God who is our friend and He ain't letting go Happy Dance
Re: What do you WANT?
April 21, 2011 02:03AM
"Name it and Claim it" just dosn't do it for me

Maybe just follow Jesus is it after all?

smiling smiley

LH
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