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The Fam

Posted by Theresa7 
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The Fam
April 02, 2011 12:29PM
Seems like when we (my hubby and I) started this journey (instigated by those people winking smiley), my parents were very afraid for us.
Over the years I've tried to share with my folks -- my mom especially, but she just hasn't "gotten it".

You may remember that my best friend, Teresa, in Montana died of breast cancer in December and that my mom was her friend through it all. They went to healing conferences, yada yada yada, prayed together about healing, all that stuff. I don't think my mom ever really thought that she would be healed, but Teresa did.

Well, when Teresa died, my mom had a "crisis of faith". Other people have blamed Teresa for her death. They have told my mom, "she didn't really believe it, because she took Chemo." So, therefore, Teresa was not healed because she lacked faith.
So really this is a "crisis of religion", since my mom is seeing the doctrine of "If I do XYZ and believe ABC, then God MUST JKL" for the LIE it is. We all here know that's not how it works (as it is not in line with the character of our Papa), and she "knew" that too, but she is now seeing how this mentality (work to get) is EVERYWHERE in the IC. Last week, she told me, "I thought I'd turn on the radio and just listen to some nice music,..... yeah right!!" She is hearing the condemnation everywhere and realizing how pervasive it is in "Christianity".

She hasn't gone to church in a few months and isn't sure she'll go back.
She told all the regular people in her life not to call her. -- She had a lot of people in her life. She says she just can't deal with them, since she is seeing the bad patterns in her life, her mind, her heart, etc, and all those people just reinforce the Cr@p.
Yesterday, she told me that she did something (can't remember what it was, and it doesn't matter..) and the voice in her head (that she used to think was God) was being condemning and mean to her about it. She said in her head, "Who the F*** are YOU?!!" Hysterical

It is such a neat time. I think she is really taking the plunge. So many times before, she has been close. But she hasn't been able to let go of the "should"s. But now, she is seeing them for what they really are -- rather than thinking it was the Holy Spirit guarding her from error.

I'm SO excited for her. Tough road (as we all know), but it is SO good to see her meet OUR PAPA and to fall in his arms of REST from labor!!
Re: The Fam
April 02, 2011 02:11PM
Hooray for your mom and for her courage to be disillusioned!

It's like this crisis made the scales or blinders or something fall off her eyes. Now she's seeing all that stuff she believed from a different angle and it don't look so good.

I know you won't believe this, but the exact same thing happened to my mom in 1979. Praying for a dear friend to be healed of liver cancer (yeh good luck with that) and we all did all the ABCs and XYZs and she died anyway. For a period of about 5 years my mom lost her faith entirely. and i won't go into the whole story but gradually it came back because she began to know Papa's love for the first time. he made himself known to her in HIS way, not the church's way.

Now she's an avid member of her church, but has never lost the love, in fact for being "in the box" so to speak, she's the most out of box person i know.

So I would say to you, really be there for her during this disillusioning time, because it's very, very painful. It's shaken her entire existence and is very serious. She could go into a depression, which would actually be kind of normal, but with all the people she's X'ed out of her life right now, she needs someone who gets it, to be there for her.
Re: The Fam
April 16, 2011 11:08AM
Seems like I've been chatting with my mom a lot more lately. Its so neat to hear her say things that show she is really understanding that life with Papa may be a WHOLE LOT DIFFERENT than what she thought.

She's seeing now that many of the things she used to do / believe, that she thought was God / Godly may not have been Him at all. Scary yet exciting and freeing. Boogie

She commented yesterday about a particular political event, and how she used to think that Christians were defending God and fighting for His will. But now, she wonders what God really thought about the whole thing. She said, "Maybe he wasn't on the side of the 'Christians' after all."

I love to hear her question things like this. For the past few years, whenever I expressed that maybe God saw it differently than the church, she would get really nervous. Like I was gonna lose my faith or something. But now, here she is -- becoming free to think and to question. That means she is free to know Him!

She also gets the whole RULES on the inside thing. She used to get defensive when I'd talk about how I was seeing / questioning all the "principles" that keep us from living in the moment and reacting to situations themselves. We were talking yesterday about how you can't decide ahead of time the right way to respond to something, because you're not there yet. And if you decide before you're there, "it becomes a rule!" <--SHE said that! and understood it!!! Crying for Joy

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/16/2011 11:17AM by Theresa7.
Re: The Fam
April 16, 2011 01:23PM
THis is very cool, T. The last part of her life will be better than the first part.

is she ready for any transitional reading material? like "He Loves Me" or "So you don't want to go to church" or ??
Re: The Fam
April 16, 2011 01:43PM
Hahaha. She read them both soon after I did (2-3 years ago).
She said that she liked "He Love Me" and has read it again recently. She said she gets it more now -- she says she sees that it's really about God's Love and not what we can do to earn it.
I laughed, because she HATED "So you don't want to go to church anymore..." At the time she read it, she was looking for a doctrine that she could contradict. She skipped around trying to "figure it out". Hahaha.

I'll have to remind her of it and suggest she consider reading it again -- from the heart rather than her head. :-)
Thanks for the reminder!!

She's been listening to tapes (learning how to download stuff from the internet :-) )that affirm God's love and point out the Churches reliance on works and law. I'm sorry, I can't remember the names of them all... (I'll try to remember to ask her...)
She said she actually called one of the ministries to ask for help.
She told the lady, "I'm really struggling with my weight"
"your what?"
"My WEIGHT. And I was wondering if you guys had anyhting that would help me with that."
"you mean like a TO DO list?" (hahahaha)
"well,... yeah"
"I'm gonna send you some stuff on the Love of God...." Hysterical

That was last week. Now, my mom laughs at herself and told the story on herself. Rofl
Re: The Fam
April 17, 2011 12:04AM
she might really like listening to the Transitions series by Wayne J. Transition
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