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On a Plain

Posted by J(uk) 
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On a Plain
February 24, 2011 01:24PM
Oh I'm Bored, or boring, life just seems the same day after day, from finding god again in a deep dark place, i have moved slowly to somewhere better, but it feels boring, not that i want to go back but its like its like ive climbed out of a valley onto a plain and there seems to be nothing but plain in front behind and to the side no mountains, nothing.

I used to get a buzz or a lift / encouragement from the God journey podcasts or Rob Bell's mars hills podcasts but even though one is out of the box and one in, neither seem to relate to me, both seem to relate to a world where the speaker and listener are surrounded by fellow belivers.

What i want what i really really want is this verse

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I want gods spirit to lift me off the ground and take me either to a height where i can see the change in terrain or to fly somewhere else
Re: On a Plain
February 24, 2011 05:27PM
Oh Lord J, I so know what you are saying. I have left the building, and all the folks in it with their cliche's and religious speak. Unfortunately, my husband still is in that game and mindset.

Meanwhile, I have been sick so long, and it's cold and dark up here. Yes, how long Lord, How long?

This morning a friend posted this on Facebook from John O'Donohue, and this is where I have found the language of my hope these last several months. What does it speak to you?

‎"Looking back along a life's journey, you come to see how each of the central phases of your life began at a decisive threshold where you left one way of being and entered another. A threshold is not simply an accidental line that happens to seperate one region from another. Often a threshold becomes visible only once you have crossed it. Crossing can often mean the total loss of all you enjoyed while on the other side; it becomes a dividing line between past and future. More often than not, the reason you cannot return to where you were is that you have changed; you are no longer the one who crossed over. It's interesting that when Jesus cured the blind man, he instructed him to not go back into the village. Having crossed the threshold into vision, his life was no longer to be lived in the constricted mode of blindness; new vision meant new pastures."

‎"Beauty isn't all about just nice, loveliness like. Beauty is about more rounded substantial becoming. And I think when we cross a new threshold that if we cross worthily, what we do is we heal the patterns of repetition that were in us that had us caught somewhere. And in our crossing then we cross on to new ground where we just don't repeat what we've been through in the last place we were. So I think beauty in that sense is about an emerging fullness, a greater sense of grace and elegance, a deeper sense of depth, and also a kind of homecoming for the enriched memory of your unfolding life."~~~John O
Re: On a Plain
February 24, 2011 07:19PM
Nice post, Heather!

I agree with you J, it can become boring. But I have realised that that is simply because I had come to expect that life was some sort of TV show...you know, thrill-a-minute...and had been conditioned to that by my mentalfundalist church too, "IF YOU ARE NOT LIVING IN THE SUPERNATURAL EVERY DAY, YOU ARE NOT LIVING !!!!!!!!" Barf The implication being of course that I needed to do what I was told, follow the steps of the programme, in order to be this superman christian.

So I think for me to realise that I am not that person, and I was not designed to be, involves looking at my expectations of everyday life, and an appreciation of the subtleties of it - the beauty in the small things - that whole realisation is valuable because it is real. Not something fake and imagined.

Hang in there brother...it gets better grinning smiley

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
- Lenny Bruce
Re: On a Plain
February 25, 2011 05:42PM
Last week, I caught myself in an old habit. I used to get fed up with the monotony of life and wish for SOMETHING to happen -- usually some disaster or accident that would mean life could no longer proceed "on a plain" of nothingness. Last week, it was icy, so I caught myself thinking that if I broke an ankle in the parking lot, then things would have to change.

What did I do? I went out and bought something. (LOL) Seriously. I had a 40% off coupon at an art store, so my husband and I bought a nice easel so I can get back into drawing/ painting. It was a change in the right direction.

I also had an epiphany -- do you ever think about what you would do if you won the lottery?
Well, my answer is always -- ART!!
So, I decided to live as though I have won the lottery, but can't collect it just yet (like it's a secret).
I know, it's not really an epiphany, but somehow it shook me out of my rut and helped me to think / feel differently.

Anyway, I feel ya, J! tongue sticking out smiley
Re: On a Plain
February 25, 2011 10:29PM
I hear what all of you are saying, Heather some doors I am glad to be through like the structure of church and am happy to walk forward into a church not made with hands that Christ is building, other doors are harder to see shut, all my life I have been lead to believe in marriage and raising a family together. Sharing kids successes marriage grandkids then to be shoved through a door of divorse and single parenthood is hard to see that door shut and to walk forward away from that door away from what you have always been taught is right both for you and your kids.

In my head my current walk is about protecting my kids as best as I can, supporting them to grow and prosper, and as hard as that is and as all consuming as that is, that's the walk I will walk with pleasure, but some days are hard and some are boring.
Re: On a Plain
February 25, 2011 11:17PM
Sounds like you're weary. (((((((((J)))))))))

Papa, please put a song in J's heart.
Re: On a Plain
February 26, 2011 04:17PM
T7 I don't know if I'm weary, I've been more physically emotionally and spiritually tired than this, I guess I feel a degree of discontentment but in a strange way because I don't know what I would change.
If I won the lottery after I had done all the travelling I wanted I would use my winnings to allow me to spend more time with my kids.

And I'm not envious, not of my pub friends who have a pretense that a good night out is getting drunk and going home with a girl or boy! Not of my church friends for whome success seems to be being to busy with church stuff to see normal people. And like onyx post I don't expect life to be a tv show although mine tends to be quite eventful, so I don't really know what or why I have itchy feet but I do.
Re: On a Plain
February 26, 2011 10:55PM
Yes, it's a mystery really J, in that what you have is so precious, and it's so real, but it's not something "explainable" like those "who have a pretense...." think that they have. It's a mystery, because it can't be grasped or dissected and analyzed.
There is an uneasiness, a sort of "walking into a fog, or stepping over a cliff" of living a life of truth. Whereas those who simply live by their appetites think that another car race, another football victory, conquest of some kind, is what life is all about. But with you it is relationships. I hope that it helps to be heard, and to know that most of us here are like that. We don't know our tomorrows and we have no guarantees. We don't have something solid to hang out hearts on, like a new car, a career or a fine house.... It's hung on an expectancy and a hope that is not all laid out before us. But brother, we are in this together. And as we ponder, we find such a timelessness in it all, a "being" or "presence".... but we can't grasp it with our hands, or turn up it's volume.

Blessings to you. I so admire you. If I would have a regret, it would be that my father left me when I was young, and it broke my heart. You are a real man, and you are loving well. Not just for you, but for those precious young ones with you.
I hope these words give you a picture, from outside of yourself that you can't see on your own, a true reflection. I see it, we see it.... Papa sees it. Very very precious.

Love to you!
Heather
Re: On a Plain
February 27, 2011 12:34AM
Thank you heather
Re: On a Plain
March 01, 2011 08:32PM
Quote
J(uk)
What i want what i really really want is this verse

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I want gods spirit to lift me off the ground and take me either to a height where i can see the change in terrain or to fly somewhere else

Funny you said that J - just had it on my heart as I wrote you on your other post.

I suppose If faith wasn't needed He could always say "heres the book, read it - thats it?"

LH
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