Papa's Home - C Shell's Blog http://papashome.com/list.php?9Sun, 05 Sep 2010 04:18:18 -0500 Phorum 5.2.15a http://papashome.com/read.php?9,2013,2013#msg-2013 A heavy load (18 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,2013,2013#msg-2013
This week I "got a thought in my head" during that time. Now, I always hated it when people in church said "God told me", "Then God spoke to me and said". Because for one thing, it seemed like they were bragging, trying to impress the rest of us about how close they were to God. And for another thing, I never heard a "VOICE", so I assumed I never heard from God.

Since I'm not churchified anymore, I've come to trust the thoughts in my head as being maybe God, because I do believe he has made his home within me.

So last week, here's the thought that came into my head: Everyone you see is carrying a heavy load.

I've been sitting with that all week.

I have no idea of the load each person I meet, drive by, work with, talk to....bears. Just that we are all humans, we carry a heavy load. We're limited by space and time. We walk around in earth-suits that are frail and subject to corruption. We love, and hurt when those we love hurt. On and on.

This changes the way I look at everyone, and the way I treat everyone. The man who treats me rudely in traffic is carrying a heavy load. The check-out clerk with piercings all over her face is carrying a heavy load. The people I work with, my self-absorbed inlaws, all the people who hurt me in my past..........................are carrying a heavy load.

What do you think ?]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogMon, 26 Jul 2010 02:39:27 -0500 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,1805,1805#msg-1805 A Kidney for Heather (41 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,1805,1805#msg-1805
Heather Sterling and I are embarking on an adventure with, we think, Papa's nudge and blessing. Heather has Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD), a hereditary disorder that has her kidneys functioning, at this point, at about 10%. Weakness is her everyday physical life, while her spirit and her relationship with Papa are stronger than steel. Recently Heather posted that she has to look toward dialysis, and it was the nudge that I needed to offer her one of my kidneys. She accepted and we're now underway.

This is going to be a Loooooong process. It could be 8-9 months before our transplant could take place, and there are hurdles all along the way. The first hurdle is getting accepted as a donor by the hospital, which is in Seattle. They may find disqualifications in my application, such as the teeny tiny melanoma in situ I had 6 years ago, or the history of high blood pressure in my family, or my being 10-15 lb heavier than their limit. If any of these count me out, we'll be looking for another living donor whom Papa may nudge. But if I get the go-ahead, I'll start being tested.

Heather and I are placing this firmly in Papa's hands. He is able to make a way when we say, "No way!" We would appreciate so much, the support and prayers and input of you friends here at Papa's Home.

Love,
Shelley]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogTue, 27 Jul 2010 13:48:33 -0500 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,1736,1736#msg-1736 Easter past and present (6 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,1736,1736#msg-1736
But I digress. What I really wanted to write about was, how is Easter different for us now than it was when we dressed up in our spring finest and went to church?

One thing that comes to my mind is Holy Week. Ya start with Palm Sunday (everybody gets a palm leaf to take home. what are you going to do with this? Look at it for a few days till it dries up?) and then you have to go to church again on Maundy Thursday for either footwashing or holy communion because that's what Jesus did on Thursday. Then Good Friday. Well, that used to be a Big Deal in the US, not so much anymore, where businesses would give their employees a half day off to go to church so they could feel really, really, sad and guilty for what they did to Jesus.

Once I went to church on Saturday night for "Easter Vigil". It was 2 hours long. Until midnight. And I do mean long. I am so glad I never have to do that again.

And then there was Easter. A really joyful day usually. "Up from the grave he arose!" "Christ is risen Alleluia".......But looking back, it was like we had been programmed by being all sad and reflective and guilty throughout the 40 days of Lent culminating in Good Friday, so we could be programmed to be HAPPY! on Easter. And it didn't always work for me, I had to pretend to be all "Alleluia!!" when I felt nothing.

Now I don't go to church anymore, so what does Easter mean?]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogSat, 03 Apr 2010 17:40:02 -0500 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,949,949#msg-949 Christmas (17 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,949,949#msg-949
And like I did when I left the church, I need to dismantle my beliefs, examine things I’ve always taken for granted, get dis-illusioned….about Christmas. I’d like to share some of the things I’m thinking, and would love to know the things you’re thinking.

Christmastime in my part of the world comes in the darkest, dreariest time of year. Daylight, sunshine, color and beauty are in short supply. But when I’d put up my tree, with its hundreds of lights and ornaments treasured for 40 years, it was like I was pushing back the darkness for awhile, warding it off. Is that…healthy? Are there some harmless, possibly beneficial ways to escape reality?

In my former frenzy to festoon my life with light and color, I see a similarity to ancient peoples who celebrated the pagan holidays of which today’s Christmas is a descendant.

In ancient Babylon, the feast of the Son of Isis (Goddess of Nature) was celebrated on December 25 with raucous partying, gluttonous eating and drinking, and gift-giving. Sounds familiar.

In Rome, the winter holiday Saturnalia honored the God of Agriculture, and the whole season was called Dies Natalis Invicti Solis, the Birthday of the Unconquered Sun. Much merrymaking, and the tradition of caroling from house to house began there.

Northern Europe had Yule, which means “wheel”, a pagan symbol for the sun. Yule was celebrated on the shortest day of the year. Candles were lit to encourage the sun to reappear next year, and huge Yule logs were burned in the Sun’s honor. Live evergreen trees were brought inside as a reminder to inhabitants that soon their crops would grow again.

It doesn’t bother me anymore (like it did when I went to church and was more prissy) that Christmas was originally a “pagan” holiday. I just feel a kinship with those ancient people who were drawn to the sun because they didn’t yet know they really were drawn to the Son. I relate to them trying to cheer themselves up by caroling, gathering for bonfires, and greening up the living room.

The hope that was in those ancient folks was put in them by the same God who put it in me. He’s the true Sun of Righteousness, who arises with healing in his wings. He’s left stories of himself in the consciousness of all peoples across time, that he might draw them to himself.

I’ve been asking myself, what is the value or meaning of Christmas beyond all the hoopla? And I think it is one word: Emmanuel. God with us. From the beginning of time, God has sought to draw us in toward Himself… through Nature, through the Law and the Prophets, through every way available. And his piece de resistance is Jesus, who became one of us, who promises never to leave or forsake us, who makes his home right inside us.

Whether we rejoice that truth on Dec. 25 or August 10 makes no difference, but it is worth making merry over, isn’t it!?]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogWed, 16 Dec 2009 08:03:29 -0600 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,831,831#msg-831 Jesus & Agendas (3 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,831,831#msg-831
Quote
Wayne (or maybe it was Brad)
"Jesus didn't blow through life with an objective."
Wherever he was on any particular day, he was himself in every place and in every encounter. He didn't have an agenda; he wasn't looking for meaning and purpose in his life, or anything else but being who he was and doing what his Father was doing. You never see stress or angst in Jesus' life.

When I was in the Club, I was always looking for (and was encouraged to look for) my mission, my niche, the job that would best use my "gifts". I took I-dunno-how-many Gifts Assessments and Inventories to identify where I was most suited to serve. Even after I identified my gifts (writing, teaching and encouraging), I rarely got to put them to use in an ongoing, institutional way as I thought I was supposed to. Teaching and encouraging, I thought, qualified me to be a home group leader. But that became my job, my objective: to lead a home group. Whereas Jesus just walked with his "home group" every day, encountering life with them.

I have a job that I go to 5 days a week, which I tend to see as something to be "gotten through" so I can get to my "real life". Jesus wouldn't even know what that means. It's all my real life. It doesn't matter whether or not I get to use my "designated gifts" in my profession; that idea comes from the world of management or career counseling or something else modern.

I see Jesus, when he walked on earth, saying every morning something like, "I go with you, Papa, into the adventure of this day." Taking the world as it is, not as he would have it. And he could do this because he was certain, secure, confirmed in his Father's love: that made him who he was, not his gifts, talents, abilities, agenda, job, mission.

Jesus lived loved. Therefore, he loved.]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogSat, 12 Dec 2009 08:26:28 -0600 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,164,164#msg-164 Alpha and Omega (3 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,164,164#msg-164
The rabbis, when referring to something in its entirety, would say, “from aleph to tau”. “Abraham observed the Law, from aleph to tau” is an example from their writings. Jesus, in revealing Himself as Alpha and Omega, was following this tradition. In Hebrew, the union of aleph and tau make eth, the first matter out of which all things were formed. In Greek, the union of alpha and omega make (need Greek alphabet to type) ___, a word meaning “I breathe”, which fits very well as a description of the one who breathed life into man to give him life, and who breathed the Spirit into man to give him eternal life.

Jesus is everything from A to Z. He starts everything and will end everything. In Jesus, the Alpha of the Old Testament (Genesis, where man was created sinless) and the Omega of the New Testament (Revelation, where man and God are reconciled in heaven) meet. And He has authority over everything in between.

How can God, who has no beginning and no end, also be the beginning and end. I think it’s because beginnings and endings are all we can understand at this time. “In the beginning, God” refers to our beginning, not God’s.

What does it mean to me personally, that Jesus is my Alpha and Omega, my beginning and end, my first and last? He was with me at the beginning of my life, not just at birth, but also at conception. He’ll be with me at the end of my earthly life, and at the beginning of my forever life. He’s with me in every time and place in between. There is no time that he is not with me.

As I lift my eyes to the Lord, seeking Him, he shall preserve my “going out and coming in, from this time forth and even forevermore” (Ps 121:8). As I obey him, he promises me, “Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out” (Deut 28:6).

What are my goings out and comings in but beginnings and endings? When I get out of bed in the morning, when I leave my house for work, when I send an email, I’m going out – I’m beginning. When I close a door, when I set down a pen, when I hang up the phone, I’m coming in – I’m ending. Looking at it this way, my whole life is a constant flow of goings out and comings in. God’s flow in our lives is that way, too. He may bring someone into my life; he may be in the ending of a relationship. We say he “opens and shuts doors” in our lives. Just as he opened the universe, and will shut it someday.]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogSun, 15 Nov 2009 17:37:44 -0600 http://papashome.com/read.php?9,26,26#msg-26 Love and Feelings (3 replies)http://papashome.com/read.php?9,26,26#msg-26C.S. Lewis

My feelings are sometimes tricky and unreliable. Some days, whether because of indigestion, lack of sunlight, hormonal shifts or who knows what else, I don't feel any love for my husband. I can try to create some by thinking of his wonderful character, but even that may not work. This has nothing to do with the fact that I DO love him, and I WILL love him. The gushy warm upsurge of feelings isn't the love.

I don't always feel warm upsurges of feelings toward God, or from God to me. I hate to admit it, but I'm feelings-challenged. I used to be really upset about that; was sure I was defective or sin-riddled. When I was part of a church, I compared my insides (no upsurges) to everyone else's outsides (PRAISE Jesus! I love you Lord! *hands in the air*) and came up lacking. What have they got that I ain't got, why don't I got it, and how can I get it?

Lewis says that God will give me feelings of love if he pleases. Oh, so feelings are gifts from him, not something I have to muster up? That definitely takes the pressure off. Maybe I can relax in HIS relentless love, keep asking Him to show me more, but not get my shorts in a knot about whether I "feel" anything today? Quit taking my temperature every 5 minutes?

Because it's all about his relentless, determined, unwearied love, isn't it?]]> C Shell C Shell's BlogSun, 15 Nov 2009 17:44:47 -0600